The Republican Progress newspaper on May 7, 1884 had a column titled "Humor" (this was not unusual for newspapers back then, but it was unusual for the column to be on the front page). These columns usually just had a bunch of one-liners, just one right after the other with no real pattern or main topic. Here are a few of the good tidbits:
"A lady and gentleman accidentally touched each other's feet under the table. 'Secret telegraphy,' said he. 'Communion of soles,' said she."
"A ready-made rejoinder: He - 'You made a fool of me when I married you ma'am.' She - 'Lor! you always told me you were a self-made man!'"
"A Baltimore man killed himself because his wife would not support him. It beats thunder how lazy some women are getting nowadays."
"'No, love,' he said, 'I cannot afford to take you sleighing, but I"ll do the next best thing. Come down to the store any day and I'll let you see me shoot a rat.'"
I think that last one is my favorite. I need to start using that as a pick up line. I'm sure it will be foolproof.
ReplyDelete